There is a difference between a desire and a goal. Do you know what the difference is? Achieving it.
I’m not kidding.
Making a commitment to Goal Setting has made an incredible (and tangible) difference in my life professionally, personally, and athletically. I’ll get to my method of goal setting and some of those results a little later, but first…
Goals vs. Desires
A desire is something we hope for. A Goal is something we work towards.
“A goal may be defined as a purpose to which a person is unalterably committed. He assumes unconditional responsibility for a goal, and it can be achieved if he is willing to work at it.”
“I want to lose 50 pounds”…well lady what are you going to do to get there? PUT THE COOKIE DOWN?
“I want to get in shape”…well dude in case no one ever told you, that six pack of beers doesn’t turn into a six pack of abs. (sorry)
Without a plan, those “wants” will never turn into goals.
You can file them in dream land next to “I want a Unicorn” or “I want to marry Ryan Gosling.”
Duh, who doesn’t.
Desires are more like bullshit New Years Resolutions vs. REAL goals
“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” Jim Rohn
To get to anywhere you want to be, you need a plan of action. Or, as I like to think of it, a roadmap to attack the shit out of that goal and make it your bitch.
Aggressive, I know.
Whatever, let’s talk goal setting…
Goal setting is all about YOU.
Meeting those goals (or failing to meet those goals) is up to you. It’s not about having a boss, teacher, parent or trainer over your shoulder telling you what you NEED to get done.
It’s all about YOU, the life you want to create for yourself, and what YOU are going to do to get there.
Ultimately if you hit those goals you can throw yourself a private freaking parade. If you fail to hit them, reflecting on the shortcomings and revising the plan are also up to you too. You’re accountable to yourself.
I goal set using SMART goals – specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.
What I’ve found most benefit about SMART goal setting is that it really allows you to attack multiple goals at one time. When I’ve laid goals out in SMART goals fashion, I then go one step further and set “benchmarks” for each, like schedule checkpoints. This allows you to look at the big picture visually broken down into smaller parts on a timeline.
One thing I also do is note my 1, 2 and 3 top priorities. I use this for decision making.
Often you’ll be shooting for several goals at once. When a opportunity/decision presents itself, I am then mindful of which goal is “boss.”
Say, for example, getting toned is my #1 goal and reading a new book is #3 goal. On a Saturday morning if I only have 2 free hours, I’m going to spend that going for a workout, not reading a book. Optimally, I’d want to make time for both.
But, life happens. So, being aware of your “boss” goals will help you prioritize where you spend limited time/resources.
Additionally, if I have a goal I think my be especially rough for me, I incentive myself.
The WhiteBoard (get one)
On May 20th John installed a wall-sized Whiteboard in his new apartment where he’d be mapping out his goals, writing his daily gratitude’s, inspiring quotes, etc. And he blocked off a section for me to write my goals (ohhhhh shit I made the white board!).
That way we could do our weekly goals sessions/checkins at his place.
Now that I’ve given you a second to puke in your mouth at how insanely “cute” or just insane you think we are, let’s continue.
Between this newly devoted whiteboard space and the fact that my 30th birthday was just two short months away, I decided it was time to write some lofty smart goals.
….and go into 30 with a mothereffin bang.
So I wrote my “Before I Turn 30 Goals.” Here they are…
- Launch QuickFlip Blueprint (the first product I created which is almost ready to bring to market)
- QFB to be selling at 100/week sales by my birthday
- Read 1 business book per month
- 1 Blogpost per month
- Speak at one event a month (either live or online class for coaching students)
- Call Mom and Dad once a week
I’m about a month into my new training at Performance 360. I’m freakin amped to be training there and back into the swing of things. Feeling weak and flabby after 3 months of injury recovery, I was chomping at the bit to get some fitness goals on the board.
And, lucky for me, if there is one person who “goal-gasms” more than I do, it’s my trainer Dave Thomas. Dave’s “thata girl!!”’ are almost as good as hearing “snow day!”
Here are the Health & Fitness goals:
- loss 10 pounds – by 7/23
- biweekly weigh-ins, goal of 2.5 lb loss per weigh in
- 95 Push Press – by 06/01
- P360 Barbell Club (which for women is a 200# deadlift & 95# push press) – by 06/01
- 225 3RM (3 rep) Deadlift – by 06/30
- 265 1RM (1 rep) Deadlift – by 07/23
Weight Loss Goals
Let’s talk fat loss vs. weight loss.
I fucking hate the scale. I shit you not, going off BMI (body weight and height) I’m categorized as overweight.
I may not have Barbies waistline, but I’m not overweight.
Usually when someone finds out my weight they say “well muscle weighs more than fat.” Which always irritated me. A pound is a pound whether it’s muscle or fat.
Well actually NO.
What that saying actually means is “Muscle is much, much denser than fat.” So as far as body composition goes, it makes a HUGE difference.
Think of it this way – a pound of muscle is the size of say a tennis ball, where a pound of fat would be more like the size of a football (a jiggly football).
Seriously this BMI bullshit is the most asinine way of assessing fitness. It is ridiculous, and in my opinion causes serious body image issues in many women.
I’m never going to be 110 pounds. Frankly, I’m built like a brick shit house. I build muscle just looking at a barbell.
And you know what…I LOVE being strong. I love seeing my body’s performance ability increase through hard work, and ya that’s going to add muscle.
I like having a bubble butt, nice toned legs, and that little ripple I get in my shoulders…I work hard for them. And sure, there’s a little extra padding that I could work off…but I am HEALTHY just the way I am.
Ok (breath) before I completely derail on this rant, let me reign it back in.
Body composition is what matters. I’m going for FAT loss, which isn’t not going to correlate directly to weight loss. I’m using the “threat” of the scale simply as a way to keep me from inhaling cookies.
I am NOT going to obsess over the scale.
The steps I am using to meet my fat loss goal on the time line I laid out is:
- P360 workouts 5x/week,
- 80 ounces of water a day,
- no cheating Monday – Friday,
- focus on increasing veggie intake and good fats,
- one night of drinking,
- one cheat meal on Saturday and one on Sunday.
Pretty straight forward.
Oh, and like I said for goals that are especially hard for me (like losing 10 pounds), I incentivized myself. If I lose 3 pounds or more in between weigh-ins I get to go to LuLuLemon, and if I meet the 10 pound goal we’re going to San Fran for the weekend.
Who do you need to get there?
One huge component of achieving your goals is knowing “who” needs to be involved with you achieving them. Immediately reach out to those people.
If you’re changing your eating habits – let your S.O. (significant other), roommate, friends, etc know. You’ll need them on board.
The day I set those goals, I emailed Dave (my trainer).
First and foremost, for his feedback to make sure the fitness/strength goals I set were challenging, yet reasonable.
Second, because HE is the one who’s going to assist me in my training to achieve my fitness goals. I can’t express how seriously valuable this is.
If you have not talked to your trainer about your goals, do it! Set a freakin goal, and talk to your trainer!
You need a Trainer who encourages you to consistently set goals and who challenges you to meet them (while keeping you in-check and injury free). If your trainer doesn’t get just as excited as you do as you progress and meet your goals, you need a new trainer.
Same is to be said for your boss, significant other, and friends.
Who you surround yourself with…
One of the most POWERFUL things I learned at Tony Robbin’s Unleash The Power Within Event is “Peoples lives are a direction reflection of the expectations set by their peer group” Or, more simply stated, who you surround yourself with is who you become.
If your peer group (think of them as your team) doesn’t challenge you, you need a new team.
And there is a BIG difference between support vs. challenge.
When you are not living up to your potential a supporter will say “that’s okay” or “you’re still great.” A challenger will say “That’s ok … but you can do better than that, how are you going to improve?”
In the long run who do you think is going to influence you to be the best version of yourself?
All I’m saying is if you’re not happy with where you’re at, it may be time to take a good look to your left and right, and ask yourself if THAT is who you want to be. If that answer is no, well that’s your answer.
Actually, I’m going to blog about that soon. It warrants more than just four sentences.
You have to track your progress. It’s the only way to hold yourself accountable. Like weekly checkpoints.
And let me tell you staring at those damn goals and knowing I had a checkpoint coming up was the ONLY thing that stopped me from devouring the Sausage Bomb calling my name from the kitchen after a night at Thrusters last weekend.
Some times it’s also a reality check that you may not be able to accomplish all that you’ve set out to do in the time frame you’ve set out to do it. But that’s ok, your goals are supposed to be aggressive.
This isn’t T-ball where everybody gets a trophy.
Aim high. “In order to get what most people don’t have, you must do what must people won’t do.”
But what if I fail?
You’re going to. No, seriously at some point you will. Get over that fear now, otherwise it’ll cripple you from achieving anything truly great.
The cool thing is that failing is like anything else, the more you do it, the more comfortable you get with it, and therefore you don’t fear it anymore.
Am I going to meet all my “Before I’m 30 goals?” Maybe, maybe not.
Am I going to meet all the goals I set for the rest of my life…hell no.
Realistically if you’re going to succeed at anything, you’re going to fail a lot on your way up. Successful people WELCOME failure.
With failure comes valuable lessons, and as long as your learning you’re not failing. You only fail, when you don’t try.
What matters is your ability, actually your longing, to get out of your comfort zone. And baby, that is one sexy muscle to flex.
Settling for comfort will kill you inside. Don’t yearn for comfort, yearn for strength.
“Resist the easy comforts of complacency, the specious glitter of materialism, the narcotic paralysis of self-satisfaction. Be worthy of your advantages.”
I truly believe that with mental strength, confidence, the right people around you, and a plan you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
Now, it’s time to Unleash YOUR Power Within! Get off your ass and go set some goals!
I’d love for you to share them here in the comments section below!